Many times there are things we want to achieve.  Often times we hear a lot of people talking about going in new years as new people. For example saying, “New year, new me.”  But this has to be more than just a slogan.

If it really is to be a new year and a new you, then it will happen by there being a new you, and that will move you to experience a new year.  I know, I know, we’re not at the beginning of the year at the time of this posting, but that doesn’t matter.  

So many of us want to be better.  Well, in order to be better, we have to do some things, work on some things regarding ourselves.  

My endeavor in this blog is to shed some light on the notion that we can’t be bitter and better at the same time.  One of the ways we get better is by ridding ourselves of bitterness.  

Well here is the thing, it’s a challenge to rid one’s self of bitterness when one does not know or acknowledge that he or she is bitter.  So what does bitterness look like?  Let me share with you a few key characteristics.

Bitterness is often marked by these:

* Having Ill Will toward others which is comprised of some or all of the following  

* A Critical Disposition that results in Constant Criticism: Or is it the other way around? Whichever causes the other, people who house bitterness a fantabulous fault finders. They are self-appointed evaluators who often evaluate and sum up everything and everybody, and usually not favorably.

*Denial of Culpability & Blaming Others: People who house bitterness can find it difficult to take responsibility for there own stuff.  Everyone else has a part in the demise of their life but them. 

*Being Stuck: People who house bitterness usually have a story about how life has dealt them a bad hand.  They can’t seem to let it go, and so they stay stuck in yester-year and the things that happened in the past, pull them into the present, and project them into the future. It’s hard to get them to actually see anything but what they have seen.

*A Healthy Dose of Cynicism: Not only does bitterness dump one into the abyss of self centeredness, but it also taints one’s perception of others. It can be marked with finding fault due to the perception that in general people’s conduct is wholly motivated by self-interest.  Of course, while being totally oblivious to this being a problem of their own.

So what do you see? After what you’ve listened to and read so far, what do you see regarding yourself, and what do you see regarding others.  Have you had an Aha Moment?  Have you gained clarity and recognized bitterness to be at work within yourself or someone you know well or are acquainted with?  Have you become more aware?  I hope so, because bitterness is deadly.  It rots you from the inside out.

Consider yourself warned.

Laugher is medicine for the soul. But listen, we have dreams and goals that we want to come to fruition and achieve.  It becomes a lot more difficult to achieve when all that gook I mentioned above is within.  The toxicity of it all is like a disease spreading to the organs and tissue of one’s body.  It begins in one place, but before you know it, it has ravished so much more.  When bitter, we don’t see ourselves clearly.  We don’t see others clearly, We’re angry, constantly critical of every thing and everybody, filled with disdain, contempt, cynicism, and we’re in denial about it all.  

May we all look at ourselves, at who we are and how we are, and endeavor to be better instead of bitter.  

What does better look like? Better looks like improvement, something attractive. It looks like something that gives us an advantage.  Better is good, and it’s effective.