Everyone needs confidence if they are going to achieve the things they dream of. They also need it to live a purposeful and satisfied life.  Confidence is one of one core components for success.  There are several things that can kill confidence, that you should keep away from.

When I was a girl we played a game called Keep Away.  At times we had to keep something away from a particular person, and at times we had to keep away from a person as they tried to touch us. 

When it comes to keeping our confidence we have to keep away from certain things or keep them away from us.  The following are five of those things.

1.  Doubt:  If confidence is a certainty that something will happen or that something is true, then doubt is its nemesis.  Doubt has no confidence and is uncertain, and a little bit of doubt goes a long way.   It is the uncertainty that kills whatever confidence you do or did have.  So what has to happen?  You have to kill the uncertainty and replace it with certainty?  How do you do that?

There are many ways to do that that depend on your situation or circumstances, but one way is to prepare for scenarios.  If you know that you’re going to have to accomplish a particular task, think of what it will take to accomplish it in advance. Then do what it takes way before you have to perform the task. sounds simple enough, but many miss this simple confidence building step.

2.  Worry:  Now, if doubt has become a state of uncertainty, worry is what got you there.  Worrying is usually recognized as feeling or experiencing concern or anxiety repeatedly. Although this is true, there are several components of worry that many don’t take notice of.  One is that worry has a tormenting factor to it by which you experience mental pain. Another is that instead of focusing on what you want to achieve, have, or be, worry focuses on fear.  It ruminates on it. The last I’ll mention here is that worry has a harassment factor.  Until you deal with it, it just keeps annoying you.

3.  Negative Self-Talk:  Want to kill your self-confidence faster than fast?  All you have to do is talk to yourself about yourself negatively.  No one’s  voice matters more than your own when it comes to your confidence.  You see, no matter what anyone else says about you, if you don’t believe it and adhere to it, it’s a lie.  If you believe, adhere to it, and say it, it becomes your truth.  We live by our truths.

4.  Forgetfulness:  Too often we forget the successes we have achieved.  To believe you can in the future, to some degree, is to remember that you did in the past.  We forget the wonderful things we possess inside. We forget the fact that we have the opportunity to keep changing and growing into the people we want to be.  We forget that no one is perfect and that we don’t need to be perfect.  We forget that we have what we need to keep moving forward even if we’re not yet where we want to be.

5.  Define Yourself as a Failure:  Listen, once you begin to consider yourself to “be” a failure, how can you at the same time be confident and consider yourself to be a success.  That is one of the hardest things to do because you have already established this fact that you “are” a failure.  If you are a failure, then how can you expect to do anything but fail?  Everyone fails at something at some point.  It’s one thing to acknowledge that you fail.  It’s another to believe that you are a failure.  The former allows you the ability to fail and try again.  The latter sets you up for more failures.

This is absolutely not a list that is exhaustive, but if you find yourself engaged with any one of the above, by now it’s probably quite obvious as to how they are not a benefit to you and your confidence. But remember, you have to do the work.  It’s not enough know how that you have to do better.  You have to do better.